Chinese Ancestry, Culture, and Energy

Hi friends,

It’s been a while! 2024 was a year of deep healing, and unexpectedly, I ended it in China, spending time with my aging grandparents. I didn’t know what to expect and after two months in Wuxi, my hometown, I have some reflections to offer.

Roots

As soon as I landed in China, my root chakra immediately opened—something I hadn’t expected. There was a familiarity and a safety that came online. My body knew “this is home” and it belonged, like a tree recognizing its home soil. When I get really still, I sense into these ancient deep roots below the earth, with a lot of history and stories. The roots feel thick and deeply anchored in the ground.

Returning to my extended family felt like being wrapped in a warm blanket—something I had forgotten after years in the US. Also, China feels so incredibly safe — heavy surveillance, communal care, and a very accessible/efficient/affordable healthcare system(!!!). [AND easy access to Traditional Chinese Medicine] So…my sense is the average Chinese person feels far safer than the average American.

Cultural Beauty

This time, I really began to see and appreciate the beauty behind ancient Chinese culture. There is so much intricacy in the stone/wood carvings, calligraphy poems, water gardens, etc. - some sort of poetic elegance to it all. It’s clear the ancestors held a deep reverence for nature and the changing seasons, weaving that appreciation into every detail. Seeing this beauty helped me appreciate the land that birthed me—and in turn, see my own beauty (thanks, Devin!). It seems like China is collectively re-finding its ancient beauty too, with traditional culture surfacing everywhere. Also, while I was there, Rednote blew up in the US, which was deeply healing for me to see, i.e., rural Americans appreciating Chinese culture.

Water canals in Wuxi

Water Gardens in Wuxi

Folk Spirituality

I didn’t set out with an intention, but over time, it became clear that I was drawn to connecting more deeply with my ancestral spiritual roots, as my path so far has been syncretic.

I started with visits to Buddhist and Daoist temples, but both felt underwhelming and overly commercial, hard to feel any sacredness. Then slowly… in the nooks and crannies of living, I started to see folk spirituality and rituals practiced in everyday life that echoed the energetic principles and ritual practices I’ve been learning in the US:

• Ancestral worship (祭祖): When you ask a Chinese person if they’re religious, some will say, we believe in our ancestors. For LNY celebrations, families will burn joss paper (spirit money) for their ancestors in the underworld. In my family, we also prepare an elaborate meal of 11 dishes to invite our ancestors to feast, thank them, and ask for their blessings. The energy was really palpable during the rituals, I felt their arrival. When the wind carried the burnt joss paper away, my grandmother said, “They have received it.”

• Ancestral halls (祠堂): There is also a separate home, a formal place, for ancestral worship, called ancestral halls. Some for specific ancestors, others for the clan, or the lineage. Some halls in Wuxi date back over a thousand years. My mother’s side has one in the Xu Xiake (徐霞客) lineage, a renowned 17th-century geographer.

• Earth and House spirits(土地公 and 地主): There is belief in Earth Spirit (土地公) and House Spirit(地主), and offerings are made for protection and guidance. It seemed some villages have Earth Spirit Temples (土地庙) that are being revived, though the ones I visited were mostly abandoned and filled with debris.

• The Stove Spirit (灶神): On the first day after CNY, my family placed a bowl of cooked rice out for the Stove Spirit, praying for abundance in food the year ahead.

• Door Spirit (门神): At a teahouse running Dao of Tea ceremonies, Door Spirit tapings were placed to ward off "unwanted unseen visitors."

This tells me animistic spirituality was part of the larger culture and still lives in the cultural consciousness today - mostly in my grandparents’ generation. Often, people would speak of it with a bit of hedging of it being “superstitious” (迷信). It’s hard to say whether these practices are performed as procedural rituals or as truly felt experiences.

Energetics

Having a sensitive body, the energetics of China told me interesting stories. Here are my lived experiences, not "truth":

• Emotional fog: In general, I felt very groggy, frozen (my body didn’t want to move), and unable to engage in deep somatic work (personal practices and with clients). I sense there is a coat of numbness, which makes sense since emotions aren’t talked about. So, even though the industrial smog has cleared, the field of emotional fog is thick.

• Consumptive trance: I fell into a vortex of consumptive trance to fill an inner void here - of clothes/things, takeout, TV, and info. It was a sign of dysregulation since it rarely happens when I’m well and centered. I also wonder if this consumptiveness is in the collective field, as Chinese e-commerce is next-level convenient and efficient. (i.e., 2 hr iPhone delivery at 11 pm)

• Expression suppression: I both felt my throat shutting down and was more blunt in my communication in China. It’s a confusing paradox. So while I found it super difficult to articulate myself there, I also had some breakthroughs in my family dynamics with things unsaid becoming said.

• Rage in the field: I felt rage often and viscerally, a burning sensation in my throat. This frustration seemed to live in the field, seeing it in delivery workers or unexpected escalation of conversations into arguments.

• Hierarchies of face and respect: I noticed this feeling of “superiority” and “inferiority” more intensely there - related to material possession, and also a strong collective shame field. It was easy for me to enter into a “shame” posture and bind.

• Heart practice: It was interesting to see myself arriving in China relaxed, tender, and filled with gratitude after 2 retreats, and the longer I stayed, the more it became a daily practice to keep my heart open amidst the intensity.

• Despite these challenges, I found that the communal care and ritual practices created a strong undercurrent of support. In the end, it reminded me that when there’s love and care, we can navigate a lot together.

The Future

I'm very bullish on the future of China. I see the resilience, smarts, hard work, and adaptability. I find present-day China impressive—technologically advanced, efficient, and safe. After this experience, I feel a deeper sense of pride in my Chinese heritage.

At the same time, I find it difficult to live in the cities and be effective at my work. It’s hard for me to access deep nature and sense the general population isn’t connected in spirit. I imagine living in a small town might give a very different experience than a GDP-oriented city. I feel curious about the future as I sense more people seek a direct connection to spirit and the ongoing iteration of culture.

I’d love to hear from you. If anything here resonates—or if you’re on a similar journey exploring your roots—please email me and share your thoughts.

With care,

Abby